On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
