She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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