The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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