thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ladies don't puke and tell
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
