I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
