it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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