Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
