Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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