good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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