So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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