somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
