My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
