what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
