I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize