Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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