If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
vagina is talking i cant
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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