his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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