one two three fourrrrnication!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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