I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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