Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
