haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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