Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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