Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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