And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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