Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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