we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
