Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
