I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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