Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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