so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
