Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
