There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
