they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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