Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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