There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
