I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize