What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
