i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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