i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
