You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
