My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
