it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
