So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Less talking, more tequila
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
