Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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