I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
