The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
