i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
