You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Farmville is her only friend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
