I swear she didn't look like that last week.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This toilet bowl is my home.
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