is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
