you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
