i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
