did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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