She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
