i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
