i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
